we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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