either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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