Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
