Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize