if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.