sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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