Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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