I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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