i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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