Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
