Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
