the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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