So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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