I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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