the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize