It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?