Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
about cumming, not toast
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN