True but thats because hes a fetus.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.