No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
