I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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