Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I queefed so loud it echoed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
