he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
