Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
