Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
