do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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