you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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