I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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