I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
