we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
