one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
