she was so not down for the gang bang
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
