Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
