I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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