my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it wasn't lemon gatorade
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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