Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
