The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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