Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
