i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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