did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
