areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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