Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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