I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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