i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books