it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.