Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
