But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
