i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
