Duck Duck Cougar?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
