i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
