she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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