Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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