no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize