u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
