i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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