He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
